貝多芬（岑建勛 飾）和阿秋（吳耀漢 飾）是一對好朋友，也是搞笑鬼馬的便衣搭檔。他們常將警局鬧得不可開交，連上司陳辦（陳欣建 飾）也頭疼不已。不過，自從阿秋和安娜（葉德嫻 飾）結婚之后，貝多芬就變得孤苦伶仃，可憐兮兮。最終貝多芬搬到了阿秋家，和這對小夫妻湊成一個笑料百出的三人世界。　　陳辦不堪其擾，將二人調到素有“鯊魚田”之稱的田警司（田俊 飾）麾下，兩人被好好整了一番，苦不堪言。另一方面，陳辦在執行任務時被多年前的宿敵飛天蠄蟧（林正英 飾）陷害。貝多芬和阿秋深知老上司被冤枉，于是明察暗訪，發誓揪出幕后真兇……

　　Luna, a cruise ship chambermaid, has to quit her job to attend to her sick brother. While doing so, she discovers that her mother has gone missing and her brother's condition is getting progressively worse. The siblings desperately sneak into an empty condo unit but soon discover that Penthouse 77 is not what it seems.

　　北洋政府統治時期，盤踞上海的軍閥武大帥之子武七（文章 飾）為洗刷恥辱，輾轉找到了前清遺老馬走日（姜文 飾）求助。在此之后，馬走日和在法租界當警督的發小項飛田（葛優 飾）聯手策劃了名為“花域總統選舉”的大型選美活動，和馬從小就認識的現總統完顏英（舒淇 飾）成功衛冕。誰知就在繁華喧囂的最頂點，命運之車竟急轉直下駛向深淵。在一個平凡的早上，完顏陳尸郊野，張皇失措的馬走日找到武七的姐姐武六（周韻 飾）及其母親齊老師（洪晃 飾），希望通過大帥幫自己洗刷殺人犯的罪名，結果卻盲打誤撞救下了險些被整死的項飛田。背負殺人犯之名的馬絕路逃亡，而武六則以該事件拍攝了名為《槍斃馬走日》的電影，馬的命運愈加撲朔迷離……　　本片根據民國奇案“閻瑞生案”改編。

　　Robbins is sentenced to prison for the assassination of his general officer, a prison you leave only when you die. Since nobody ever leaves the prison, nobody knows what the prison is like. The prison manager realizes this and buys himself an island playground called "Absolom," where the worst prisoners are free to create an isolated barbaric society, and where the strongest men rule...a living hell. Robbins is sent to Absolom after he almost kills the prison manager.